God was there...
(Hindi)
Thoda vichlit sa mai, soch raha tha kahan kis dar pe jake khuda se milun, poochun ki akhir main khud ko barbadi ki oar kyun dhakel raha hun.Yahan ghuma wahan ghuma, rashton me chalte mere pair kahte jab tujhe manjil ka pata nahi to hume thakata kyun hai.Man bhi ajib sa tha, har pal aisa lag raha tha jaise sarir ko mai dho raha hoon, jab apne hi usoolon se phirta hai koi to sabse jyada dukh hota. Upar wale ne sabki uljhan ka hal pahle se hi kar rakha hai bas jarurat hai use dhudne ki aur maine bhi wo dhund li.
Bahut dino se IAS ki tayyari me man nahi lag raha tha , jab se prelims diya aur ghar se laut k aaya tab se man jaise kaabu me hi nahi tha , sab kuch ajib sa lag raha tha .Delhi wapas aane k baad kisi kaam me man nahi laga , bas faltu k kaamon me gapshap, tahlna , serials dekhna, ghumna firna aadi kaam hi kiye.Aur laut k aane k ek mahine k baad tak yahi silsila chalta raha.Doston se milne jata to bhi uljhan wahi , unhe bhi mera nature ajib hi lagta.Yahan tak ki meri sabse acchi dost Sheetal ne bhi mujhe tok diya, ki tumme ab wo junoon najar nahi aa raha kya hua hai tumhe.Uske shabd sunke maine ek raat to dat kar padhai kar li par agle din , dimag ne fir wahi raag chod diya , ankhon ne kitab me chahal kadmi karne se mana kiya, dil ne sahi raah dikhayi par chanchal man ki baat maan mai fir idhar udhar bhatak gaya,bahana bhi ajib tha ki shayad kuch time waste karne se akal aa jayegi .Par kabhi kisi k paas samay barbad karke akal aayi hoti to aaj sare gapp hakne wale is duniya k betaaj baadshah hote.
Mai bhale hi idhar udhar bhatak raha tha par mera dil kahta raha ki bahut se waade jo maine khud se kiye hai unhe na nibhakar mai dusron ko nahi khud ko hi dhoka de raha hoon. Pyar muhabbat me sab bhavnao me bahkar bahut se waade karte hai par nibhane me peeche hatne lagte hai , is umra tak aaj kal shayad hi koi akela bachta ho, aur shayad hi kisi ka dil uske paad rahta ho .Maine bhi kisi se bahut se waade kiyen hai shayad wo waade jo maine usse jyada apne aap se kiye hain, ye wahi waade hain jo ek ladka ek ladki ko uski acchi life k liye karta hai ,agar ladka iman se laga rahe to ye waade hakikat bante hain nahi to sapne bankar dil se nikal kar aankhon me ghar bana lete hain. Mere liye mere waadon ki kimat meri jindagi se bhi badhkar hain kyunki agar mai ye waade nibha nahi paya to shayad hi kabhi apni najron me uth paun aur yahi wajah hai ki jab bhi mera man mere kaam se hatta hai tab tab hi mera dil kahne lagta hai ki nahi mai galat raste pe ja raha hun, aur wo poori dam se mujhe wapas kheechne me lag jata hai.
Haan to pichle ek mahine se mera man bilkul bekabu ho gaya tha ,jaanboojh kar samay barbad karta raha, raat me bistar pe let kar pure din ko soch khud ko kosta. Fir ek din jab sheetal ne mujhe bahut daanta to maine socha ki padhun aur fir padha bhi par dusre din mai fir usi dharre pe aa gaya aur us raat to jaise intiha ho gayi , mujhe laga ki nahi bas ab kuch aur karna hoga aur mera khud ka kamra hi mujhe katne sa laga, jo kamra padhai ka mandir tha wahan mujhe bahut ajib sa lag raha tha.Us raat bahut samay kharab hua fir maine mobile pe hi ek jagah ka pata dekha , jise dekh mujhe laga ki yahan shayad mujhe sukun mile, wo jagah thi ek christian anath ashram.Khair us pate ko dekhne k baad maine wahan ki warden se phone pe hi baat ki aur unse agle din bhent karne ki ijajat li. Us raat fir mai jaise taise soya.
Agle din subah utha to man jane k liye kar bhi raha tha aur ek taraf ye bhi kah raha tha ki kya karunga mai jaake , insan ki aradhana to uske kaam me hoti hai , fir wahan jake mai kya karunga.Par maine socha chod deta hoon dil pe sab aur man ko neeche rakh dil ka hath pakad mai chal pada.Metro station se civil lines pahucha. Wo ashram maharaj lal lane pe tha , bahut hi khusnuma mahol tha ya ye kahiye ki mera man bhi use jagah ko dekh kar khil utha tha jahan dil use kheench kar laya tha, hara bhara mahol,shant vaatavaran aur bahut hi kam chahal pahal. Par wahan pahuch k pedon se takra aakar aati thandi hawa jaise mera wahan swagat kar rahi thi , aur kah rahi thi ki kam hi log yahan is maksad se aate hain.Maine bhi hawa ko jawab diya ki mai bhi matlab se hi to aaya hun , main bhi to yahan dil ka chain lene aaya hun jo wahan meri kitabon me mujhe nahi mil raha .Hawa haste hue mujhe sirfira kahkar chali gayi apna thanda hath mere mathe pe fer kar. Kuch logon se pooch kar mai us ashram me pahucha bahar ek budha aadmi khada tha jo shayad wahan ka rakhwala raha hoga,usne mujhse poocha ki kya baat hai , maine use bataya ki mai bacchon se milne k silsile me aaya hoon .Fir mujhe wo sath me lekar andar gaya, mujhe ek sofe pe bitha k wo andar kisi ko bulane chala gaya.Thodi der baad safed saadi, jisme neeli pattiyan kinare pe thi, pahne hue ek sister mere paas aayin.Unhone bade hi pyar se istakbal karte hue mere aane ka karan pucha.
Maine unko apne bare me sab bataya aur kaha ki mujhe bacchon se milna pasand hai aur dusron ki help karna chahta hoon .Maine unse poocha mere layak koi bhi kaam ho to bolen, wo meri baat sunkar khush hui aur boli aapki thinking acchi hai khair aayiye aap bacchon se mil lijiye .Haan maine unhe ye bhi bataya ki maine ek saal pahle apni job isi peeche chod di ki mai logon ki seva kar sakun, pata nahi imandari se kahun to aaj jaise meri baaten mujhe khud hi man se kam balki muh se nikli jyada lag rahi thi.Aaj mai saaf man se nahi balki bhari man se apne swarth k liye us jagah gaya tha ki shayad bacchon ko dekh kar ye man wapas apni acchaiyon ko pa sake. Mai jama masjid jane ki soch raha tha kai dino se par ja nahi pa raha tha aaj bhi socha tha ki ashram k baad wahin jaunga par ashram jane k baad wahan jane ki jarurat nahi lagi.
Khair , un sister k sath mai andar gaya bahut se bacche jinki umra 3 se 6 saal k beech thi mujhe achraj se nihar rahe the.Mujhe laga badhkar sabko gale laga kar bolun 'bacchon mujhe maaf kar do mai tumsab se pyar bahut karta hoon aur fir bhi tum sab k liye kam karne k bajaye awara firta hoon'. Un bacchon ne sister k kahne pe mujhe bahut pyar se good morning bhaiya bola, kah nahi sakta kitna pyara sambodhan tha wo , aam k bagiche me baithy gungunati bahut si koylon ki awaj se bhi surili thi wo awajen jo abhi nanhe kanthon se muskan me lipti hui niklin thi. Mera dil jo pahle hi mujhe laya tha ab aur bhi garv se phula hua mujhse kah raha tha dekha ye hai asliyat jindagi ki ,ye wo sukh hai jo tujhe kisi mandir ya masjid me mil hi nahi sakta.Mandir ,masjid me tu sirf maang sakta hai ehsaas kar sakta hai khuda ka par yahan to khuda khud hi dikh raha hai apne choten hathon se tujhe choo raha hai .Jo bhagwan mandir me pita ki tarah anshun pochta hai , jo ishwar masjid ki thandi hawa k roop me ma ka anchal deta hai , wahi upar wala in bacchon k roop me tujhse lipat kar teri god me aakar tujhe hansa raha hai. Jaise gam me kabhi ma baap ka saya chahiye hota hai waise hi kabhi kabhi anshu pochne k liye apne bacchon se lipatne ka bhi man karta hai aaj bas maine wahi kiya. Aaj maine apne pita se milne masjid me nahi gaya bas usike roop ko sakshat dekhne k liye ashram gaya .
Thodi der un bacchon ko dekhne k baad sister ne mujhe kaha ki hamare pas dudh peete bacchen bhi hain wo upar wale kamron me hain.Wahan koi bhi aadmi nahi tha siway us budhe k to mujhe thoda ajib bhi lag raha tha par haan us pawan jagah man sabhi buraiyon ko chod kar sirf un masoom muskano me khel raha tha. Jab mai aur sister upar pahuche to unhone mujhse jute utar kar andar aane ko kaha, us kamre me 1 se 3 saal k bacche the aur kuch sisters bhi thi.Unme se ek sister jo umra me shayad mujhse bhi kafi choti thi boli ki maine hi aapse raat me baat ki thi.Fir ek pyara sa baccha mujhe hello karne aaya aur uski muskan dekh k bas man kiya ki mai yahan rah jaun.In dusri wali sister ne kamre me lagi ek khidki se hi mujhe dusre room me pal rahe dudhmuhe bacchon ko dikhaya.Unhone bataya ki inme sabse chota 3 hafte ka hai.Chote chote jhulon me uchalte kuch bacche khidaki tak aane ko machal rahe the par mai wahan se hat gaya aur fir andar wali aaya ne wo khidki band kar di . Ab tak wo sister kahin ja chuki thi jo mujhe yahan layi thi aur ye dusri choti wali sister mujhe neeche lekar aayi aur baat karne lagi.Unhone kaha ki yahan se bacche adopt bhi hote hain par sirf wo jo dimag se sahi ho, vishesh dimag wale bacchon ko bharat k log nahi apnate.Maine unse pocha ki batayen mai kya kar sakta hoon inke liye, unhone bola ki aap incharge se baat kar le wahi batayengi.
Mai fir usi sofe wale room me neeche baith gaya, is baar maine us room ko dhyan se dekha , jagah jagah jesus ki tasweeren thi , ek jahag ek hath ki painting thi jisme ye likha tha "tum kyun dukhi hote ho tumhara naam to maine apni hatheli pe ukera hai".Aisa lag raha tha jaise har kone me ishwar baitha ho aur mujhse kah raha ho ki dhundo apne me chupe ishwar ko , apne kaam ko , apne kartavya ko , yahan se meri roshni lekar jao aur apne andhere kamre me ujala kar lo.Mai wahi roshni apne man aur dil dono ki bahon se samet hi raha tha tab tak andar se ek aur sister aa gayi, mujeh laga shayad wo incharge thi , par baat karne me pata chala ki incharge bahar gayi hui hain.Khair unse maine apna sara prayojan bataya unhone bhi kuch taareef k shabd kahe jo us samay shayad mujhe apne liye sunne me bahut bade se lag rahe the. Unhone mujeh bacchon se kabhi kabhi milne ki baat kahi kyunki wahan sari sisters hi thi isliye, khair mujhe isi baat ka santosh tha ki mai unse kabhi kabhi to mil hi lunga aur is pavitra jagah aake khud ko bhi pavitra kar lunga.
Unko bahut se dhanyavaad dekar mai wahan se chal diya aur fir rashte me yahi sochta raha ki mai kahan bhataka tha, jiske dil me itni acchi hasraten basti hon uska man use bhatka kaise sakta hai.
Thoda vichlit sa mai, soch raha tha kahan kis dar pe jake khuda se milun, poochun ki akhir main khud ko barbadi ki oar kyun dhakel raha hun.Yahan ghuma wahan ghuma, rashton me chalte mere pair kahte jab tujhe manjil ka pata nahi to hume thakata kyun hai.Man bhi ajib sa tha, har pal aisa lag raha tha jaise sarir ko mai dho raha hoon, jab apne hi usoolon se phirta hai koi to sabse jyada dukh hota. Upar wale ne sabki uljhan ka hal pahle se hi kar rakha hai bas jarurat hai use dhudne ki aur maine bhi wo dhund li.
Bahut dino se IAS ki tayyari me man nahi lag raha tha , jab se prelims diya aur ghar se laut k aaya tab se man jaise kaabu me hi nahi tha , sab kuch ajib sa lag raha tha .Delhi wapas aane k baad kisi kaam me man nahi laga , bas faltu k kaamon me gapshap, tahlna , serials dekhna, ghumna firna aadi kaam hi kiye.Aur laut k aane k ek mahine k baad tak yahi silsila chalta raha.Doston se milne jata to bhi uljhan wahi , unhe bhi mera nature ajib hi lagta.Yahan tak ki meri sabse acchi dost Sheetal ne bhi mujhe tok diya, ki tumme ab wo junoon najar nahi aa raha kya hua hai tumhe.Uske shabd sunke maine ek raat to dat kar padhai kar li par agle din , dimag ne fir wahi raag chod diya , ankhon ne kitab me chahal kadmi karne se mana kiya, dil ne sahi raah dikhayi par chanchal man ki baat maan mai fir idhar udhar bhatak gaya,bahana bhi ajib tha ki shayad kuch time waste karne se akal aa jayegi .Par kabhi kisi k paas samay barbad karke akal aayi hoti to aaj sare gapp hakne wale is duniya k betaaj baadshah hote.
Mai bhale hi idhar udhar bhatak raha tha par mera dil kahta raha ki bahut se waade jo maine khud se kiye hai unhe na nibhakar mai dusron ko nahi khud ko hi dhoka de raha hoon. Pyar muhabbat me sab bhavnao me bahkar bahut se waade karte hai par nibhane me peeche hatne lagte hai , is umra tak aaj kal shayad hi koi akela bachta ho, aur shayad hi kisi ka dil uske paad rahta ho .Maine bhi kisi se bahut se waade kiyen hai shayad wo waade jo maine usse jyada apne aap se kiye hain, ye wahi waade hain jo ek ladka ek ladki ko uski acchi life k liye karta hai ,agar ladka iman se laga rahe to ye waade hakikat bante hain nahi to sapne bankar dil se nikal kar aankhon me ghar bana lete hain. Mere liye mere waadon ki kimat meri jindagi se bhi badhkar hain kyunki agar mai ye waade nibha nahi paya to shayad hi kabhi apni najron me uth paun aur yahi wajah hai ki jab bhi mera man mere kaam se hatta hai tab tab hi mera dil kahne lagta hai ki nahi mai galat raste pe ja raha hun, aur wo poori dam se mujhe wapas kheechne me lag jata hai.
Haan to pichle ek mahine se mera man bilkul bekabu ho gaya tha ,jaanboojh kar samay barbad karta raha, raat me bistar pe let kar pure din ko soch khud ko kosta. Fir ek din jab sheetal ne mujhe bahut daanta to maine socha ki padhun aur fir padha bhi par dusre din mai fir usi dharre pe aa gaya aur us raat to jaise intiha ho gayi , mujhe laga ki nahi bas ab kuch aur karna hoga aur mera khud ka kamra hi mujhe katne sa laga, jo kamra padhai ka mandir tha wahan mujhe bahut ajib sa lag raha tha.Us raat bahut samay kharab hua fir maine mobile pe hi ek jagah ka pata dekha , jise dekh mujhe laga ki yahan shayad mujhe sukun mile, wo jagah thi ek christian anath ashram.Khair us pate ko dekhne k baad maine wahan ki warden se phone pe hi baat ki aur unse agle din bhent karne ki ijajat li. Us raat fir mai jaise taise soya.
Agle din subah utha to man jane k liye kar bhi raha tha aur ek taraf ye bhi kah raha tha ki kya karunga mai jaake , insan ki aradhana to uske kaam me hoti hai , fir wahan jake mai kya karunga.Par maine socha chod deta hoon dil pe sab aur man ko neeche rakh dil ka hath pakad mai chal pada.Metro station se civil lines pahucha. Wo ashram maharaj lal lane pe tha , bahut hi khusnuma mahol tha ya ye kahiye ki mera man bhi use jagah ko dekh kar khil utha tha jahan dil use kheench kar laya tha, hara bhara mahol,shant vaatavaran aur bahut hi kam chahal pahal. Par wahan pahuch k pedon se takra aakar aati thandi hawa jaise mera wahan swagat kar rahi thi , aur kah rahi thi ki kam hi log yahan is maksad se aate hain.Maine bhi hawa ko jawab diya ki mai bhi matlab se hi to aaya hun , main bhi to yahan dil ka chain lene aaya hun jo wahan meri kitabon me mujhe nahi mil raha .Hawa haste hue mujhe sirfira kahkar chali gayi apna thanda hath mere mathe pe fer kar. Kuch logon se pooch kar mai us ashram me pahucha bahar ek budha aadmi khada tha jo shayad wahan ka rakhwala raha hoga,usne mujhse poocha ki kya baat hai , maine use bataya ki mai bacchon se milne k silsile me aaya hoon .Fir mujhe wo sath me lekar andar gaya, mujhe ek sofe pe bitha k wo andar kisi ko bulane chala gaya.Thodi der baad safed saadi, jisme neeli pattiyan kinare pe thi, pahne hue ek sister mere paas aayin.Unhone bade hi pyar se istakbal karte hue mere aane ka karan pucha.
Maine unko apne bare me sab bataya aur kaha ki mujhe bacchon se milna pasand hai aur dusron ki help karna chahta hoon .Maine unse poocha mere layak koi bhi kaam ho to bolen, wo meri baat sunkar khush hui aur boli aapki thinking acchi hai khair aayiye aap bacchon se mil lijiye .Haan maine unhe ye bhi bataya ki maine ek saal pahle apni job isi peeche chod di ki mai logon ki seva kar sakun, pata nahi imandari se kahun to aaj jaise meri baaten mujhe khud hi man se kam balki muh se nikli jyada lag rahi thi.Aaj mai saaf man se nahi balki bhari man se apne swarth k liye us jagah gaya tha ki shayad bacchon ko dekh kar ye man wapas apni acchaiyon ko pa sake. Mai jama masjid jane ki soch raha tha kai dino se par ja nahi pa raha tha aaj bhi socha tha ki ashram k baad wahin jaunga par ashram jane k baad wahan jane ki jarurat nahi lagi.
Khair , un sister k sath mai andar gaya bahut se bacche jinki umra 3 se 6 saal k beech thi mujhe achraj se nihar rahe the.Mujhe laga badhkar sabko gale laga kar bolun 'bacchon mujhe maaf kar do mai tumsab se pyar bahut karta hoon aur fir bhi tum sab k liye kam karne k bajaye awara firta hoon'. Un bacchon ne sister k kahne pe mujhe bahut pyar se good morning bhaiya bola, kah nahi sakta kitna pyara sambodhan tha wo , aam k bagiche me baithy gungunati bahut si koylon ki awaj se bhi surili thi wo awajen jo abhi nanhe kanthon se muskan me lipti hui niklin thi. Mera dil jo pahle hi mujhe laya tha ab aur bhi garv se phula hua mujhse kah raha tha dekha ye hai asliyat jindagi ki ,ye wo sukh hai jo tujhe kisi mandir ya masjid me mil hi nahi sakta.Mandir ,masjid me tu sirf maang sakta hai ehsaas kar sakta hai khuda ka par yahan to khuda khud hi dikh raha hai apne choten hathon se tujhe choo raha hai .Jo bhagwan mandir me pita ki tarah anshun pochta hai , jo ishwar masjid ki thandi hawa k roop me ma ka anchal deta hai , wahi upar wala in bacchon k roop me tujhse lipat kar teri god me aakar tujhe hansa raha hai. Jaise gam me kabhi ma baap ka saya chahiye hota hai waise hi kabhi kabhi anshu pochne k liye apne bacchon se lipatne ka bhi man karta hai aaj bas maine wahi kiya. Aaj maine apne pita se milne masjid me nahi gaya bas usike roop ko sakshat dekhne k liye ashram gaya .
Thodi der un bacchon ko dekhne k baad sister ne mujhe kaha ki hamare pas dudh peete bacchen bhi hain wo upar wale kamron me hain.Wahan koi bhi aadmi nahi tha siway us budhe k to mujhe thoda ajib bhi lag raha tha par haan us pawan jagah man sabhi buraiyon ko chod kar sirf un masoom muskano me khel raha tha. Jab mai aur sister upar pahuche to unhone mujhse jute utar kar andar aane ko kaha, us kamre me 1 se 3 saal k bacche the aur kuch sisters bhi thi.Unme se ek sister jo umra me shayad mujhse bhi kafi choti thi boli ki maine hi aapse raat me baat ki thi.Fir ek pyara sa baccha mujhe hello karne aaya aur uski muskan dekh k bas man kiya ki mai yahan rah jaun.In dusri wali sister ne kamre me lagi ek khidki se hi mujhe dusre room me pal rahe dudhmuhe bacchon ko dikhaya.Unhone bataya ki inme sabse chota 3 hafte ka hai.Chote chote jhulon me uchalte kuch bacche khidaki tak aane ko machal rahe the par mai wahan se hat gaya aur fir andar wali aaya ne wo khidki band kar di . Ab tak wo sister kahin ja chuki thi jo mujhe yahan layi thi aur ye dusri choti wali sister mujhe neeche lekar aayi aur baat karne lagi.Unhone kaha ki yahan se bacche adopt bhi hote hain par sirf wo jo dimag se sahi ho, vishesh dimag wale bacchon ko bharat k log nahi apnate.Maine unse pocha ki batayen mai kya kar sakta hoon inke liye, unhone bola ki aap incharge se baat kar le wahi batayengi.
Mai fir usi sofe wale room me neeche baith gaya, is baar maine us room ko dhyan se dekha , jagah jagah jesus ki tasweeren thi , ek jahag ek hath ki painting thi jisme ye likha tha "tum kyun dukhi hote ho tumhara naam to maine apni hatheli pe ukera hai".Aisa lag raha tha jaise har kone me ishwar baitha ho aur mujhse kah raha ho ki dhundo apne me chupe ishwar ko , apne kaam ko , apne kartavya ko , yahan se meri roshni lekar jao aur apne andhere kamre me ujala kar lo.Mai wahi roshni apne man aur dil dono ki bahon se samet hi raha tha tab tak andar se ek aur sister aa gayi, mujeh laga shayad wo incharge thi , par baat karne me pata chala ki incharge bahar gayi hui hain.Khair unse maine apna sara prayojan bataya unhone bhi kuch taareef k shabd kahe jo us samay shayad mujhe apne liye sunne me bahut bade se lag rahe the. Unhone mujeh bacchon se kabhi kabhi milne ki baat kahi kyunki wahan sari sisters hi thi isliye, khair mujhe isi baat ka santosh tha ki mai unse kabhi kabhi to mil hi lunga aur is pavitra jagah aake khud ko bhi pavitra kar lunga.
Unko bahut se dhanyavaad dekar mai wahan se chal diya aur fir rashte me yahi sochta raha ki mai kahan bhataka tha, jiske dil me itni acchi hasraten basti hon uska man use bhatka kaise sakta hai.
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