Are Baap Re Billu Aa Gaya...

Bachpan se hi mere pure parivar k log billu naam se bahut darte the, kisi ko cycle ki hawa nikalti dikhti , kisi ko farsh pe dalmoth padi dikhti aur kisi ko apni saadi ka satyanash hote dikhta. Jab bhi ma mujhe kisi k ghar le jatin to us ghar me ghusne se pahle mujhe daant kar kahtin "dekho koi shaitani na karna aur acche bacche ki tarah rahna". Mujhe lagta tha ki mai to kuch karta hi nahi , ma bhi bas jab dekho mujhe dantne ka bahana chahiye unhe. Halanki har jagah se laut k aane par mujhe daant ya kabhi kabhi maar bhi padna jaise tay hi hota tha. Khair kuch kisse mai is kahani me likh raha hoon , aap hi batana bechare billu ki galti kahan thi.

Jab mai lagbhag 8 saal ka tha to meri mausi k bete ka janmdin tha, unhone khoob tayyari ki thi aur hum sabko bulaya tha. Didi log to baad me aane wali thi par mai ma k sath subah subah hi mausi k ghar pahuch gaya. Papa ne bank( unka office) jate samay mujhe aur ma ko mausi k ghar k paas chodd diya tha baki rasta ma ne mere sath paidal hi kata.Khair jab hum dono mausi k ghar pahuche to upar chajje par mausi ka beta Monu khada hua tha(wo bhi thoda thoda mere hi tarah natkhat tha). Wo kas k chillaya "are Manju(meri ma ka naam) aa gayin". Meri kul 4 mausiyan hain aur unme se 3 wahan pe pahle se hi thi, ma ka naam sunkar teenon khush ho gayin par unhe pata tha Ma sath me Billu naam ka Tufan bhi layin thi.Upar pahuchte hi maine beman se mausiyon k pair chue aur mausi logon ne bhi darte darte pair chua liye.Unka darr sahi bhi tha kabhi kabhi mai pair chhute samay chikoti kaat leta tha ya fir saadi pe latak jata tha.

Ek ghanta to maine acche bacche ki tarah kaat diya par ab kya karun, bore ho raha tha baki sab mere umra wale aapas me busy the. Mai akela tha kuch soojh nahi raha tha, tabhi maine dekha meri sabse choti wali mausi rasoi me sabke sath nahi thi.Mujhe pata chala ki wo neeche wale kamre me sone chali gayin hain. Bas fir kya tha Billu ek baar fir jaga, man me kuch khyal aaya aur mai teji se neeche ki or bhaga. Mausi gahri neend me so chuki thi, kharrate "Bharr Bharr" ki awaj k sath kamre me goonj rahe the. Mere man me ek chota sa khyal aaya aur mai unke sir k paas jakar khada hogaya. Fir dheere se apna muh unke kaan k paas le gaya  aur kas k chillaya "BHONNNNNN". Mausi ko laga hoga jaise America ne bharat pe bam gira diya aur wo "Haay Daiyaa Haay Daiyya(oh my god)" chilla kar jaag gayin. Tabhi unki najar upar seedhiyon me daudte hue billu pe padi aur unhone kas k chillaya "Manju DD Billu ko dekh lo....Humko Dara diya , kaan faad diye ...Bhonpu baja diya kaan me.."  aur na jane kya kya unhone us samay kaha.Humne bhonpu bajaya aur badle me ma ne hamara kaan ghumaya, hamara hisaab barabar.Ye kissa yahi khatm.

Khair is durghatna k thode din baad hi Billu ji ma k sath Nani k ghar aaye, pura Mohalla janta tha ki Billu se bhagwan bachaye bas ek aate ki chakki wali boodhi dadi ko chodkar. Ma ne mujhe 25 paise diye the ghar se chalte samay ki shaitani nahi karna ab, maine sir hila diya tha bas.Mai wo chawwani lekar unhi dadi ki dukan par gaya, dadi ne bade pyar se poocha "kekhar ladka ho (kiske bacche ho)", maine kaha Manju k, wo boli Kaun Manju , Maine kaha Dinesh(mere mama) ki didi. Wo mere mama ko janti thi so khus ho gayin , wo bahut boodhi thi lagbhag 80 ki rahi hongi aur unhone bahut mota chasma laga rakha tha. Unki aankhen chasme k andar se bahut badi lagti thi, to mai samajh nahi pata tha ki inki aankhen itni badi kyun hain.Unhone bade pyar se mujhse poocha "bauua kya naam hai tumhara", maine akad kar kaha "i am Ashutosh Mohle". English ka itna accha prayog shayad dobara raub jhadne k liye nahi kiya. Dadi khus ho gayin aur boli kya chahiye. Maine kaha toffy chahiye, tabhi meri najar samne rakhi lakdi ki choti si almari par padi. Usme toffiyon k dibbe rakhe the, dadi kuch kah pati ki usse pahle mai bhag k almari k paas chala gaya.

Dadi boodhi thahri so uth k mujhe hata nahi sakti thi , bas kah rahi thi "ruk ja ruk ja". Mai nahi mana ek pair neeche ki rack pe rakha aur almari ki sabse unchi rack pe hath pahuchaane laga, almari choti thi aur kamjor bhi .Ek bacche ka wajan sah nahi payi aur bacche sahit jameen par aa giri. Ab Billu babu almari k neeche dabe the , jaise taise maine almari ko hataya aur bhag khada hua, bas peeche se dadi ki awaj aa rahi thi , wo shayad kisi ko bula rahi thi aur kah rahi thi "Dekho Dinesh ka Bhanja Sab Satya Nash KAri Gaya..".Mai bhagta raha aur tab tak bhaga jab tak nani k kamre me ma k peeche jakar nahi chup gaya.Dil jor se dhadak raha tha ki koi ab chakki se aayega aur fir ma se sikayat karega aur fir mai pitunga, par bacche ki bhagwan ne sun li aur mai bach gaya. Koi peeche nahi aaya aur ye durghatna kabhi meri ma ko pata nahi chali haan Mama ko dusre din un daadi ne jarur bata diya tha.

Kuch varshon baad...Jab mai 13 saal ka tha to log samajhne lage ab bada ho gaya ab shararat nahi karega, pahle log mujhe akele bulane me darte the, par ab wo himmat juta k bula lete the. Haan nani abhi bhi Billu se bahut darti thin sabse chota tha ,laadla tha aur sabko pyara to tha hi , par haan natkhat bhi to bahut tha na.
Ek baar Nani k yahan Billu Babu bada se basta lekar pahuche, kisi kaam se unhe nani k ghar akele bheja gaya tha. Papa ne nani k ghar me chod diya tha ab Nani k upar tha ki wo kaise mujhe baandh kar rakhti. Maine us din koi shararat nahi ki aur accha baccha bana raha , thodi der baad meri nani ki ek dost "Rakhia  Ki Amma"(muslim) unse milne aayin. Meri nani palang pe baithi thi aur Rakhia ki Amma jameen par .Meri nani ka ghar bahut pahle ka bana hua tha so usme upar chhat ki taraf bhagone, sanduk, aadi rakhne k liye machaan(taad) bana hua tha. Mujhe jane kya soojhi maine apna basta usi machan pe rakhna chaha. Jyada lambai thi nahi so pair uchka k bina upar dekhe bas basta tikane laga, us baste se ek bhagona apni jagah se hila, us bhagone se dusra bhagona hila aur dusre se teesra. Aisa hote hote ek bhagona wahan pe hila jiske neeche "Rakhia ki Amma" baithi thin.

Pata nahi fir kaise Wo bhagona upar se kood gaya aur seedhe "Rakhia ki Amma" k sir par aa kar gira. "Haaye Allah Mari Gaye, Haay Allah Maar diya" in awajon se kuch hi seconds me kamra gunjne laga. Nani aur dono mamiyon ne mujhe aise ghura jaise maine unka doodh ka bhagona gira diya ho ya fir sukhte hue kapdon pe chewing gum chipka diya ho. Meri badi mami ne turant hi "Rakhiya ki Amma" ka sir pakad k dabana suru kar diya, bas bhagwan ki daya se sir fata nahi tha aur na hi koi raktpaat hua. Thodi der me apna dukhda apne Mohalle me sunane ko lekar "Rakhia ki Amma" vida huin, ab peeche wali basti me bhi logon ko pata chalne wala tha ki Manju ka ladke se bas Allah bachaye. Meri mami ne byomkesh bakshi ki tarah jasoosi bhara vakya kaha ki "agar aaj unka khoon nikal gaya hota to danga bhi suru ho sakta tha". Mujhe laga ki is baat pe danga kaise ho jata , khair kabhi poocha nahi ab milengi to jarur poochunga.

To ye the Billu k jeevan k wo pal jis ne billu ko shararat ki duniya me billu baadshah ka ohda dilaya, aisi bahut si baaten man me bhari hain aage samay mila to fir likhunga, tab tak k liye wida , aur agar is kahani ko padh k aap jara sa bhi hase to mera lekhan safal hua.


******** ITI SUBHAM ******************